Nicotine patches for your news habit

Less murder, more meteorites

You heard it here first second: reading the news is the new smoking. The news is poorly written, full of factual errors, and generally depressing. But I must admit, it scratches a very real itch. Not only are news sites constantly updated so I can tune in everyday (or multiple times a day) and always get something that I haven’t seen before, they also provide good conversation topics and let me feel like I learned something and am “informed.” 

It’s the perfect fix for when I’m in a boring meeting, or microwaving my lunch, or waiting at the dentist’s office. I love a good substack article, but I simply don’t have the time or attention span to read only longform pieces – sometimes I only have 15 minutes and really just want to skim some headlines. Before I know it, I find myself lighting up one poisonous article after another after another.

Just as with cigarettes, breaking the news habit can be challenging. Here are three things that I’ve been using to help me quit:

1. Wikipedia

The homepage of Wikipedia is my new go-to for quick, easy reads. I usually check it after my first round of morning emails if I wake up with enough time to dilly-dally/don’t have a meeting first thing. Yes, there is a “In the news” section but it’s not the type of news I have a problem with–usually half the bullets have to do with international sporting events. I particularly like the “Did you know…” section because I basically never did know any of the things they list, so I always come away with a fun fact (or two, or seven). The front page is short enough for me to easily read every morning, which I really like because it feels like an accomplishment . When I have more time, Wikipedia’s homepage also offers up a smorgasbord of pages for me to click through at my leisure.

2. Pitchfork album reviews

Pitchfork album reviews are my secret to an elevated 30-45 minute mid-day break. Each review is around 5,000 words, so it takes me around 15 minutes to read while I eat lunch, and then I can listen to the album I just learned about for 15-30 minutes while I go on a walk. It’s always nice to have new music to add into my rotation, and consistently reading these has expanded the vocabulary I use to describe music. The “Best New Reissues” category is also a great way for a Gen Z/Millennial cusp like me to learn about classic albums from before my time, the albums that people like to make of young people for not knowing about, but never want to actually explain. They post several reviews each weekday, and one a day on weekends, so there are always new albums to discover.

3. Auction websites, like Christie’s and Sothebys

If I’m in the mood for something more visual, auction websites are my go-to. There’s lots of very cool art, obviously, but there are also all kinds of objects both wonderful and bizarre. Consider this meteorite collection, or this selection of objects from the Father of Hip Hop. Auction sites also have write ups that provide context for items up for auction — for example, this delightful article from Christie’s, For your eyes only: 10 ways to dress, drive, travel, and unwind like James Bond. If you find yourself hooked on these sites, might I also recommend Monica McLaughlin’s wonderful newsletter Dearest. Monica mostly covers antique jewellry but often includes other pieces of fascinating material culture, like tiny books and vampire killing kits. 

Maybe someday I will achieve enlightenment and not feel the need to be constantly entertained, but until that day comes, it's nice to be able to scratch the itch for a new headline with a feather instead of a rusty nail.

If you’ve successfully quit the news, what helped you break your habit?